Abuse is a shame filled subject in our communities that no one wants to address or even admit too. Many people continue to bear the pain in silence and in shame.
In early January, Orbala (@qrratugai), AltMuslimah’s Sabina Khan-Ibarra and Asma T. Uddin (@altmuslimah), and Coming of Faith’s Laila Alawa (@comingoffaith) decided that a Twitter conversation about abuse was pertinent. After much planning and organizing, the #StopAbuse chat was scheduled for Tuesday, January 20, 2015 11:00 AM PDT/2:00 PM EST.
The conversation kicked off with AltMuslimah welcoming followers and introducing the co-moderators:
Welcome to this very important conversation #StopAbuse. @altMuslimah will be co-moderating with @comingoffaith @qrratugai. TY for joining us
— altMuslimah (@AltMuslimah) January 20, 2015
Orbala asked the first question:
Our first question is: What constitutes abuse? How do you understand abuse? What do u think of when u hear the word “abuse”? #StopAbuse — Orbala (@qrratugai) January 20, 2015
The answers were eye opening:
She’s someone. Period. End of story. http://t.co/xC0hHlbnKo via @WhyFeminist #StopAbuse #family pic.twitter.com/lj3Sp4xGWR
— Kamal Fizazi (@kamalfizazi) January 20, 2015
.@qrratugai W/I think of abuse, I think of human rights systematically stripped, usually by someone tht survivor is connected to. #StopAbuse
— Laila Alawa (@lulainlife) January 20, 2015
@AltMuslimah @qrratugai Abuse = can be physical, emotional, psychological,verbal damage/harm done to another #StopAbuse — MyiraKhanCounselling (@Myira_Khan) January 20, 2015
Let’s start with stats. 53% of Muslim Americans surveyed reported experiencing domestic violence: http://t.co/pzAZ2h7RRu #StopAbuse — Aysha Khan (@ayshabkhan) January 20, 2015
“The Prophet Muhammad(sa) never hit a woman.” – Hazrat Ayesha (rz) Men cannot afford to ignore this Sunnah. #StopAbuse
— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) January 20, 2015
Coming of Faith asked the next question:
Why don’t Muslim communities talk about abuse? #StopAbuse — Coming of Faith (@ComingofFaith) January 20, 2015
@ComingofFaith If mosque personnel are properly trained in handling VAW cases then that’s great. Most are definitely not.
— Footybedsheets (@_shireenahmed_) January 20, 2015
@ComingofFaith in my experience as a DV crisis counselor ppl want to discuss their ‘abuse’ & want help but won’t use the word ‘abuse’
— A’amna M. (@aamnamlk) January 20, 2015
AltMuslimah asked a difficult question:
If someone came to you and said that the local imam had sexually abused them, how would you respond? What would you do w/ info? #StopAbuse — altMuslimah (@AltMuslimah) January 20, 2015
@AltMuslimah First things first, give the victim the emotional support they need. No victim blaming. #StopAbuse — Hafsa Ahmad (@HafsaAhmad) January 20, 2015
@AltMuslimah help them file legal action against the perpetrator. Counseling outside of the ummah. #StopAbuse
— Kristina ElSayed (@MyIslamicLife) January 20, 2015
Orbala asked about reporting abuse:
What can hinder survivors from reporting abuse? How can they be empowered to come forward? #StopAbuse — Orbala (@qrratugai) January 20, 2015
@ayshabkhan Sexual /domestic violence is an incredibly taboo subject. Discussion isn’t on the table until it’s almost too late. #StopAbuse
— Hafsa Ahmad (@HafsaAhmad) January 20, 2015
@qrratugai community stigma, for one. We need to start talking about the issue in order to empower. #StopAbuse
— Laila Alawa (@lulainlife) January 20, 2015
We need to believe those who come to us asking for help. Not shame them, tell them to be patient or cover sin of abuser. Do more. #StopAbuse — altMuslimah (@AltMuslimah) January 20, 2015
Coming of Faith asked about how we can move forward:
What can we do to begin having necessary conversations about abuse in our communities? #StopAbuse
— Coming of Faith (@ComingofFaith) January 20, 2015
@ComingofFaith @AltMuslimah @qrratugai acknowledge that it is abuse. Cultural lens may cloud that it is. #StopAbuse — Saffiyya (@SaffiyyaM) January 20, 2015
@AltMuslimah @MuslimahMontage @ComingofFaith We return to Prophet’s, peace uon him, teachings. He NEVER abused his wives & kids, or any1. — Nona Tre-Femi (@truthjustice199) January 20, 2015
The role of religious leaders?
What is the role of religious leaders in addressing abuse? #StopAbuse
— altMuslimah (@AltMuslimah) January 20, 2015
@AltMuslimah We’ve run khutbah campaigns, but it needs to be more than 1x/year. @PeacefulProject runs a yearly program for Imams #stopabuse
— Project Sakinah (@ProjectSakinah) January 20, 2015
@AltMuslimah @lulainlife To defer to VAW experts. Support when/where they can. Encourage Mosques to be safe spaces. GET TRAINED. #StopAbuse — Footybedsheets (@_shireenahmed_) January 20, 2015
The uncomfortable tweets:
@qrratugai @MuslimahMontage Such a terrible occurrence. I know too many survivors of abuse at the hands of a religious teacher #StopAbuse
— Hafsa Ahmad (@HafsaAhmad) January 20, 2015
We asked what communities can do to support survivors of abuse:
So what can we do to provide community support for abuse survivors? #StopAbuse @ProjectSakinah @Myira_Khan @hadayai — Orbala (@qrratugai) January 20, 2015
@AltMuslimah religious leaders from their tribunes, should build awareness around the issue and urge the community to address it #StopAbuse — Modern Priestess (@MimsJDoe) January 20, 2015
Communities should provide services for those who are abused and make them understand that it’s not their fault #StopAbuse
— Muna (@xmunaxxx) January 20, 2015
Muslims need to put aside the chance of further marginalization when debating whether or not to talk about abuse. #StopAbuse
— قوةالنسوية {Xandra} (@XandraQalbee) January 20, 2015
All communities have a responsibility to speak out against abuse and advocate for justice. The cycle should stop in the home. #StopAbuse — HEART Women & Girls (@HEART_wg) January 20, 2015
We hear stories of abuse often, domestic and otherwise. Please know that we are here to listen, to believe, to advocate. #StopAbuse — HEART Women & Girls (@HEART_wg) January 20, 2015
We must not ignore intergenerational trauma and how it may lead to further abuse. Seek help. Encourage your loved ones, any age. #StopAbuse
— HEART Women & Girls (@HEART_wg) January 20, 2015
And we concluded the conversation:
Thank you ALL for participating in this necessary convo. Thanks to @Altmuslimah + @qrratugai for co-mod’ing. Your stories matter. #StopAbuse — Coming of Faith (@ComingofFaith) January 20, 2015
The planned hashtag event may be over but please keep this important conversation going. #StopAbuse
— altMuslimah (@AltMuslimah) January 20, 2015
You can follow the conversation, which is still going at https://twitter.com/hashtag/StopAbuse and use the Hashtag #StopAbuse
Sabina Khan-Ibarra is an assistant editor at AltMuslimah.
