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Community

Reclaiming my life after sexual abuse: Part II

I was extremely fortunate that my friend’s family reacted exactly as I needed them to. Oftentimes people don’t know how to respond to news of sexual abuse (which is the result of our communities refusing to talk about it). Therefore denial and anger are often the knee-jerk reactions. However on top of the terror of coming forward, negative reactions can be permanently damaging to the victim (as I had experienced at 13), and I’m so grateful that this is not how my friend and her family reacted.

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Community

Reclaiming my life after sexual abuse: Part I

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung
“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” – Caroline Myss
Since I was 8 years old, I have felt as though two starkly different versions of myself existed inside me, constantly at war with each other. One version grew up as expected, appearing as a confident adult woman to the outside world. The other remained a stifled, insecure child imprisoned within.

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Community, Culture

Drinking, dating and hijabs: The perils of college life for Muslim women

I climbed out of the car and heard the raucous laughter and booming music spilling out of the open windows and doors of the house party. My Christian and Jewish friends and I were welcomed as the innocent, new freshmen on campus. Red cups full of beer were passed around; I shook my head when one came my way. The guy holding it glanced at me with hazy eyes. “What?! No beer?” he said incredulously. “No, not for me!” I yelled back at him over the music. He shook his head dumbfounded and moved on to a more willing participant.

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Community

Confronting ethnic slurs and racism among American Muslims

Intra-Muslim racism is an issue often swept under the rug in the American Muslim community. Some of its manifestations are overt while its varying expressions tend to be more subtle. In order for us to be the community, which Allah (swt) describes as “the best nation brought forth from humankind” [Qur’an 3:110], we must put forth the same, if not more, intellectual and social energy, in confronting intra-Muslim racism as we do when confronting Islamophobia.

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Community, Mosque

Out of sight, out of touch: Women’s struggle to be heard in the mosque

Two Muslim women enter a mosque (no, this isn’t the opener of a lame joke).
Both sisters join the prayer, enjoying the Imam’s melodious recitation over the loud speaker – the only communication they have with the walled off men’s prayer area where the Iman stands, leading the prayer. They kneel down and touch their foreheads to the ground. Some time passes and one sister begins to wonder why the prostration, typically no more than 10 to 30 seconds, is now in its second minute. She had enjoyed the extra time to fit in some much needed supplication, but two minutes?

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Community

Altmuslimah’s top 10 articles for 2013

Count down the most popular Altmuslimah stories of the 2013 to see what most captivated our readers! These pieces cover everything from a South Asian Miss America to adoption in the American Muslim community, but the common thread between all 10 articles is that they were the most read and most shared of the past year. Enjoy!

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Community

My mother’s daughter

Every relationship evolves throughout the course of its lifespan. Some grow and blossom, others die out when the time is right and some drag on when they should have ended long ago. I think most women can agree that there is however no relationship like the one you have with your own mother. As a child, she is there to nurture and care for you. Then as a teenager, the relationship takes on a layer of mistrust.

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Community, Mosque

Place shame where it belongs

As a Muslim community in the U.S., what is our collective image of an abuser? Who comes to mind when we think of domestic violence (DV)? Do we imagine the likes of Muzzammil ‘Mo’ Hassan, the man who beheaded his wife at the Bridges TV studio in New York? Does abuse have to reach the level of gruesome for it to qualify as domestic violence?

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