Family

Children, Family

Please help me: The child abuse epidemic

A little over a month ago, on April 17, a ten-year-old Muslim boy named Abdifatah Mohamud, was brutally murdered in Buffalo, NY by his stepfather—beaten to death more than 70 times with a rolling pin. The stepfather admitted to “…binding the boy’s hands, stuffing a sock into his mouth, duct taping the boy’s mouth and beating him to death.” Abidifatah himself had made two frantic calls to 911 the year before he died, pleading for help, but no one arrived at his home to investigate or intervene.The day of his death, he ran to a neighbor’s home asking for refuge, but she urged him to return home.

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Children, Family

Children are people too: Child abuse in Pakistan

As a student in Karachi, I met a 10-year-old boy who I’ll call Ali. Ali was a disruptive student; generally what we’d call a problem child or a nuisance. I believe that he came from an abusive home. Though we never talked about the physical abuse, he would occasionally come to school with fresh bruises on his arms and legs, and once even a black eye. The school administration was aware of the alleged abuse and they never took any action to address it; they did, however, hesitate to call Ali’s parents regarding disciplinary issues.

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Family

Abdul Sattar Edhi

At 82 years of age, Abdul Sattar Edhi is not well known outside of South Asia, but in Pakistan he is a living legend. From humble beginnings as a peddler, Edhi has built a massive social service organization with thousands of staff and hundreds of centers dotting his country. In recognition of his work, the government of Pakistan has nominated Edhi for the Nobel Peace Prize. Regardless of whether or not he wins the award, his example is powerful and his message is one we should all take to heart.

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Family

Male contempt and feminist wrongs: A Muslim woman’s thoughts on the male experience

“Should men be studied through the lens of feminism?” asked the posters put up by the Canadian Association for Equality, a Toronto-based group that campaigns to raise awareness of men’s issues. Well, of course not, was my gut reaction. Intrigued, I attended a talk by “National Post” columnist Barbara Kay in which she pointed out how Canadian family law sidelines fathers by assuming that mothers are inherently better parents who have a greater ‘right’ to the child. Both the posters and the lecture got me thinking…

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InLaws, Marriage, Relationships

Want your marriage to last? Get premarital counseling

I spent my time at a recent wedding listening to people’s marriage problems. As the guests danced the night away in celebration, I sat in the back of the hall talking about shattered dreams and unfulfilled expectations. Sometimes, we had to scream to hear each other over the music. There was the young woman whose husband wouldn’t let her finish her education. Then, a friend wanted advice about dealing with her in-laws. And a mother cried as she shared her worries about welcoming her daughter home as a divorcee.

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altMen, Family

Challenging the performance of masculinity

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
I always find it disturbing nowadays when I hear someone, female or male, say, “Be a man.” It is an expression that is not only commonly used in our language, but also rarely confronted.
“Women are dumb,” Bryan* said, “they already have a thousand things going on in their mind about you, so when you ask her out, set a specific date and time; don’t leave it open-ended.” I think I almost choked on my dinner as I heard him advise my friend, Dave.*

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Family

Devotees mark 738th anniversary of Rumi’s death

Jalaluddin Rumi is famed as much in the west as in east for the tradition of whirling and an assortment of devotional poetry. His death anniversary on Dec. 17 is known as Wedding Night, or Seb-i Arus in Turkish. Like every year, dervishes and devoted fans across the world, especially in his final resting place Konya, Turkey, whirl like a spinning wheel to pay tribute to their beloved Mevlana, meaning Our Master. Others read his poetry in gatherings or in solitude to reflect on the intended message.

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altMen, Family

“Manhood” and the mosque

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
It is jummah and I’m right on time, ready to listen to the entire khutbah. Today I’ve chosen to sit in the middle, closer to the back, hoping to remain inconspicuous. I’ll soon regret this decision. The khutbah begins, and ten minutes later, Abdullah saunters in. As luck would have it Abdullah plants himself right in front of me, obstructing my view of the imam and leaving me to crane my neck if I want a peek at our speaker.

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altMen, Family, Marriage, Relationships

Dude, where’s my masculinity?

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
There is an unprecedented global shift in gender relations taking place. Until our communities recognize and respond to this shift, the critical task of deconstructing the accepted rules of masculinity will remain undone, and the difficulty of finding suitable marriage partners will continue to frustrate us all.

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altMen, Family

Masculinity in the Muslim world

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
There is obviously no single definition of masculinity in Islam, due to the diversity of cultures and contexts in which the religion is practiced and interpreted. It remains nebulous which precise aspects of the Muslim world’s image of masculinity come from Islam and which are rooted in culture. What counts is what constructions of the Muslim male people perceive to be Islamic.

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