Courtship

Advice & Relationships, Columns, Courtship, Divorce, Marriage, Relationships

Introducing our newest columnist: Relationship counselor, Salma Abugideiri

Please welcome Salma Abugideiri as our newest relationship columnist. Her column will appear bi-weekly, alternating with our other column, AskM. Salma is a licensed, professional counselor with over fifteen years of experience. Her practice is in Northern Virginia. You can find more information on her website: wellnessthroughcounseling.com. She is also a founding Board Member of Peaceful Families Project, a national organization dedicated to domestic violence prevention in the Muslim community.

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Courtship, Marriage, Relationships

Five ways we can reform the “traditional desi marriage” process

I am fascinated by the depth of emotion and expression of diverse perspectives evoked by the Love InshAllah blogpost “How I met my son’s mother” by Mezba Mahtab. Women and men, married and unmarried, single by choice and by chance, spoke up, and, in light of their personal stories, explained why the piece was based on ill-founded notions and this approach to marriage is detrimental to our communities.
The online community may be up in arms over the issue, but the truth is, this “buyer’s market” (as Aisha Saeed aptly called it in her response) isn’t going anywhere.

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Courtship, Marriage, Relationships

How self-worth impacts our relationships

During our search for a spouse, and even once we are married and settled, we tend to focus outwardly on our relationships with others and minimize the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with ourselves. This imbalance can manifest itself in many ways. We may completely lose our senses in the initial rush of a relationship or marriage, or fall to pieces in its painful demise.

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Courtship, Marriage, Relationships

Why are parents making it hard to complete half our deen?

“Sorry, we’re looking for a doctor.”
“We want someone from Pakistan, not India.”
“He is too dark.”
“We have a gut feeling that he is not the right person for you.”
Do these statements sound familiar?
If you are one of the many Muslims engaged in the marriage process, it is likely you have heard similar phrases from your parents or even the parents of possible suitors.

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altMen, Courtship, Marriage, Relationships

There are just no good Muslim women out there

I shouldn’t take this any further. Apart from not being true, it’s a diatribe that obfuscates something deeper (just as the parallel, but unnervingly more standard retreat, “Where are all the good Muslim men?” does). The degree of intelligent, sincere, socially conscious, and admirable Muslim women I meet is staggering, many of whom in a previous life I wouldn’t have hesitated asking out to dinner to get to know better. Yet, I find myself simply put off by Muslim women. << From the AltMuslimah Archives >>

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Courtship, Marriage, Relationships

On singlehood

“Half our deen” is the chanted mantra when it comes to attitudes towards marriage. I like it, I respect it, and I have no doubt about the fact that the institution of marriage is intrinsically beautiful. It’s a form of companionship that is the foundation of a family and is, without question, one of Allah’s infinite mercies upon humanity.

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altMen, Courtship, Family, Marriage, Relationships

Response to Sajid Hassan: Are Muslim men scared of professional single Muslim women in their thirties?

A recent article on altmuslimah.com entitled “Searching for Khadijah: A boy’s perspective” by Sajid Hassan garnered quite a bit of attention as evidenced by the long string of passionate comments it received, far more than most other articles on Altmuslimah. The article described the pressure that professional Muslim American women face from their families and their social circles to get married in their early twenties, because it becomes much more difficult to find a partner once they hit their thirties.

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