Relationships

The divorce dilemma

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
The choice to divorce requires us to ask difficult and legitimate questions, and listen to each other’s honest answers in order to make a decision about what to do when they have run out of ideas to repair the relationship. These questions reflect the difficulty of the decision, and its effect on the multiple areas of their lives. There are no easy answers, and sometimes no perfect solutions, when these dilemmas are on the table.

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More Moroccan women propose to men

Analysts in Morocco attribute the rise in the number of women proposing to men to a campaign that wants to promote principles of gender equality. In conservative societies, it is always expected of men to take the initiative as far as marriage proposals are concerned and girls who decide to reverse the situation are likely to be criticized for breaking a long-standing tradition. The remarkable rise in the number of women proposing to men in Morocco has shed more light on the phenomenon and drove many to analyze the reasons for its prevalence.

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Why yes, I’m an Islamophobe

<< Disclaimer: This piece contains strong language, reader discretion is advised. >>
I am an Islamophobe. The phobia stems from a simple reason – my not-so-blind attraction to smart and well-educated women.

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Laila, Oh Laila

<< Disclaimer: This piece contains strong language, reader discretion is advised. >>
Summary: A prose piece about South Asian men who leave the women they claim to love in order to conform to cultural patriarchal norms and succumb to family pressure.

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Dude, where’s my masculinity?

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
There is an unprecedented global shift in gender relations taking place. Until our communities recognize and respond to this shift, the critical task of deconstructing the accepted rules of masculinity will remain undone, and the difficulty of finding suitable marriage partners will continue to frustrate us all.

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The Amriki larki (The American girl)

Junior year of high school, I considered myself a fortunate aberration, evading the often-inevitable encounters of what my parents deemed the teenage “three D’s”: drinking, drugs, and dating. Surrounded by a diverse, yet value-oriented group of friends, we ceremoniously spent weekend nights playing Hasbro board games, eating discount pies on docks, or consuming syrupy drinks at one of the many local cafes. As the year progressed, our friendships shifted accordingly, and each of us succumbed to one or more of the dreaded D’s. In my case, it was dating.

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This brother is perfect for you

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
As part of our exploration of relationships and the quest to find a mate, Altmuslimah presents a fictional story based on one woman’s real life adventures in her search for a husband in the late 1980’s, before the internet and online dating services. The men – introduced through friends, Muslim families, and letter-based marital services – are actual, the conversations factual. The names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

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The best of you

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
Growing up, I was surrounded by the typical patriarchal family structure. My father was not a brutal tyrant, far from it. Nevertheless, the notion of the “man’s role” and the “woman’s role” abound throughout my upbringing. When it came time for me to marry, I wanted to be different. I wanted a different kind of marital relationship.

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An anti-teen-dating diatribe

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
Teen dating: What demented dunce invented it? Aunty Mohja wants to know. What possesses U.S. consumerist culture to promote it as the norm? Let’s send a boy and a girl, their horniness joyfully newfound but woefully untamed, into the dark of a theater or the back of a car, unsupervised. Let’s urge them to contort their emerging personalities around what makes them pleasing to the other they wish to attract.

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Unmarried at 30: Handling the stigma with grace

Author’s note: As is often the case in real life, things don’t pan out the way we would like it to be, which leads to a constant tug-of-war between our dreams and reality. This article is inspired by the story of a friend who recently shared her shattered dreams via email. It’s fascinating how she copes with her struggle.

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