I am strongly resisting the temptation to make sweeping statements, but as a general rule I find nowhere else in the world is individuality and free thinking penalised as it is in the land of the pure. From school when the teacher frowned at your blatant use of ‘imagination’, to the fear inducing lessons with maulvi sahib, to adulthood when society already has your course of life charted out and heaven’s forbid if you should dare to deviate.
Read MoreWhen news of Saudi Prince Saud Abdulaiziz Bin Nasir Al Saud being found guilty of murdering his aide and possibly being gay made headlines, I figured then that the discussion of homosexuality in the Muslim world had unofficially shifted from the private realm to the public one. Knowing the silent and largely hostile attitude towards homosexuality, I actually felt uncomfortable for the Muslim world, as well as Saudi Arabia, for being squarely placed in the spotlight for a taboo topic.
Read MoreMarriage is not just a piece of paper. It’s an agreement that two people will create and build a relationship together. Is that unromantic? Maybe it seems that way because we think of contracts as regulating things like house purchases, business transactions, loans and financial agreements. We like – in fact we demand – strong binding written commitments when it comes to the inanimate things in our lives. So why don’t we take the same approach to the agreement that is probably the most important thing in our life and will have the greatest impact on us – the relationship with our partner?
Read MoreIt was like a scene from a film, the way we met. A blazing Sunday in June, two summers ago. Hereford train station. I was heading back to London from the Hay festival, and the train was about to leave. I leapt out of the taxi, raced on board and took the nearest seat in the carriage. It was then I glimpsed her, sitting opposite me reading a paperback copy of Mary Barton. As the train trundled through the English countryside my gaze kept flicking back to the woman with the wild green eyes and golden hair.
Read More“Mankind! We have created you from a male and female, and made you into peoples and tribes, so that you might come to know each other. The noblest of you in God’s sight is the one who fears God most. God is all knowing and all-aware” (49:13). If you survey nearly all Muslim communities across the U.S., you’ll discover almost as many languages as there are countries in the world. A convert who is new to the American Muslim community will be both astonished and excited by the variety in garb, customs, cuisines and ethnicities that American Muslims have to offer.
Read MoreWhen Huma Abedin, aide to Hilary Clinton, married Anthony Weiner, New York Congressman, it sent tongues wagging in the Muslim community. She did the unthinkable, the ultimate taboo for a good Muslim girl from a good Muslim family – she married a Jew… and he did not convert. O-M-G. The question that makes even the most open-minded Imams squirm was revived – Can a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim man? The answer in all the major schools of thought has traditionally been a resounding NO. Absolutely, not. Not ever. Haraam, sister.
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I am not a legal scholar and I have not researched the legal aspects of the issue of Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men. To me, the essential issue in looking at this particular issue or others that “progressive” Muslims tend to discuss is whether “Islam” allows it or not – not whether we think it should be allowed or not. What we want is too tempting in this kind of topic and can bias our interpretations of our religion, and of course what each person wants can and does vary.
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“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect” (30:21, Y. Ali). “I’m not against capture and convert,” a male Muslim friend of mine frequently provides this jocular rejoinder in discussions about finding solutions to the rising number of successful, accomplished, unmarried Muslim American women in their 30s.
Read MoreNewsflash! All-out uninhibited, unrestricted sexual freedom is so last decade. A recent Slate article, “Why Is a Former Sex Blogger ‘Rethinking Virginity’?,” reported a drop in young women’s self-exposure on social networking sites. A survey of women bloggers who were previously in the “show more and tell all” school of thought (such as Lena Chen of the “Sex and the Ivy” blog) indicates they have now pulled the blinds down on the blog windows into their sexual lives.
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Although it took many months of persistent coaxing on our and the community elders’ parts, my wife and I prevailed; even after we tied the knot though, I continued to feel burdened by the suspicion that we were only one among hundreds, if not thousands, of American Muslim couples who fought against families and communities opposed to their interracial marriage. Within the Muslim community, I realized the power of the unthinkable: When it came to marriage, some Muslims couldn’t even entertain the thought of marrying individuals from particular “groups.” The idea of a black Muslim man marrying an Arab Muslim girl was inconceivable. Joining an Indonesian and a Pakistani in holy matrimony…forget about it.
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