Relationships

Relationships

Give Muhammad a chance

At 21 I married a man five years older than me. The second time around, at 31, I married a man five years younger than me.*

Eight years into our marriage, it still sends little shock waves through people when I mention this. There are sometimes oooohs and aaahhhs, eyes get bigger and rounder, and I can almost see folks wanting to high five me and slap my husband on the back for biting the bullet and marrying an older, divorced, single mom. I have, no joke, been asked at least a dozen times how I managed to pull this off.

Read More
Relationships

A married woman

When I was growing up, my Iraqi-born mother responded to my requests to travel alone, consider schools out-of-state, or stay out late with friends with the same answer, “When you get married.” Once I got married, I’d be somebody else’s problem. Then, it wouldn’t be her place to tell me no. Then, it would be my husband’s job to worry about me.Marriage, in my adolescent mind, was the only way to an independent adulthood. Western culture may have referred to marriage as settling down, but I associated it with freedom

Read More
Relationships

Half Agony, Half Hope

“Do you have any children?” a nice woman making small talk asks me.
I reply pleasantly, “No, I don’t,” but my inner monologue is racing.
“Children? I don’t have children because I don’t have a husband.
I don’t have a husband because I never had a romantic relationship with a guy.
I never had a boyfriend, I’ve never even been kissed and I’m way older than
Drew Barrymore was when she was in that movie with Michael Vartan!
I’m older than Jesus ( AS) when he was on this earth! Oh God, what if it’s too late for me to have children?“

Read More
Relationships

Alone

I am alone.
Surrounded by friends and a community that should understand me
They know me as popular, confident, and happy – supposedly.
My sisters dress the same, look the same, and crack the same jokes as me.
Yet when I look their way, my reflection does not stare back at me.

Read More
Advice & Relationships, Columns, Courtship, Divorce, Marriage, Relationships

Introducing our newest columnist: Relationship counselor, Salma Abugideiri

Please welcome Salma Abugideiri as our newest relationship columnist. Her column will appear bi-weekly, alternating with our other column, AskM. Salma is a licensed, professional counselor with over fifteen years of experience. Her practice is in Northern Virginia. You can find more information on her website: wellnessthroughcounseling.com. She is also a founding Board Member of Peaceful Families Project, a national organization dedicated to domestic violence prevention in the Muslim community.

Read More
Relationships

How Parental Wisdom Can Change Your Valentine’s Day

I’ve been through my share of cross-generational challenges, but lately I have met a place of rapprochement as I remember the things my parents have taught me, directly and indirectly, about relationships. Their wisdom has its roots in a land and culture so far away that the advice doesn’t always translate to the millennial ways of the Starbucks-drinkers and instant-satisfaction seekers. It is a wisdom that cannot be found in HuffPost articles, Buzzfeed lists or Facebook shares.

Read More