Ask M: “The one who got away”
In today’s AskM column, M gives advice to two women: one who cannot stop thinking about the past, and another who is learning how to find a partner on her own.
Read MoreRelationships
Don’t ask. Don’t tell.
“What the hell do you mean by ‘a few dates’?” my wife asked me through a cold, tight smile. We’ve been married for ten-ish years, but when I recently accepted a Facebook friend request from an old acquaintance who I’d dated in high-school, I felt obligated to disclose this tiny detail. Small mistake. My wife’s voice was tinged with jealousy.
Read MoreAsk M: Dating incognito & reconciling Islam and feminism
In our first AskM column, M answers your questions about how to communicate with parents when courting someone and how to balance your partner’s expectations with your own feminist ideals.
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Five ways we can reform the “traditional desi marriage” process
I am fascinated by the depth of emotion and expression of diverse perspectives evoked by the Love InshAllah blogpost “How I met my son’s mother” by Mezba Mahtab. Women and men, married and unmarried, single by choice and by chance, spoke up, and, in light of their personal stories, explained why the piece was based on ill-founded notions and this approach to marriage is detrimental to our communities.
The online community may be up in arms over the issue, but the truth is, this “buyer’s market” (as Aisha Saeed aptly called it in her response) isn’t going anywhere.
How I Met My Granddaughter’s Father
My wife recently sent me an article posted in Love, InshAllah by Mezba Mahtab, How I Met My Son’s Mother, along with contrary views in My Problem With Traditional Desi Marriage and Reflections of a "Good" Girl.
Read MoreAsk M: Altmuslimah’s first weekly advice column
AltMuslimah is excited to announce the launch of its first-ever weekly advice column. Every week, you’ll be able to pitch your most pressing relationship questions to our columnist, M. In matters of the heart, M believes in going with instinct (and logic!) to solve relationship dilemmas. As an American Muslim woman who’s been through the courtship and marriage process, she will draw upon her own observations and experiences to answer your questions. Ask M.’ will launch via live Twitter chat on November 25, 2013. You can submit your questions by:
Read MoreWhat’s Love Got To Do With It?
I am estranged from my father, and no, I don’t like talking about it. Why bring it up in the public sphere? Because I get too many intrusive questions about him in the private sphere, and this is my way of setting the record straight.
Read MoreBlack + Muslim + Woman
“It’s because you’re black.”
He repositioned himself in the chair, then looked down at his cup of coffee and grabbed the handle. I could tell this conversation made him uncomfortable.
He was from the subcontinent but had the swag of a black brotha. He said he was having a hard time find a sister from his background because he couldn’t relate to them.
“I’m sorry, it’s just my family wouldn’t be happy…” He said this apologetically while taking a small sip from his drink.
“Arranged” marriage
I am madly in love with a good man.
Next week, I am going to marry another.
I have cried more tears this year than I have cried in my entire life. I have been brought so low that I cannot see a way out. I no longer trust my own judgment, my own thoughts, my own brain or heart. I used to be amazing. Now I am a mere shadow of who I used to be.
10 ways to avoid marrying the wrong person- Part II
There is a right way and a wrong way to get to know someone for marriage. The wrong way is to get caught up in the excitement and nuance of a budding relationship and in the process completely forget to ask the critical questions that help determine compatibility. One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone.
(Click here to read Part I of this article)