This piece is a follow up to the essay, “Accidentally Childfree”.
“Do you want to be in your marriage?” She asked me, matter-of-factly.
For months I wrestled with this question, always too afraid to broach it during daylight hours. But here we were, in her bright little office, and her words flooded the room.
On that day, I did not have an answer for her.
It took a while, but after protracted discussions, my late mother finally had come around to the idea. “Habiba, you don’t need to get married” she’d said. I had finally convinced her that the opportunity cost of marriage was too great to sustain. I read Fatima Adamou’s piece with great…
Read More
I am thirty-seven, single and childless. The latter two of these three descriptives are taboo within the Muslim community. Whether you live in America, Pakistan or Egypt, if you are not attached to a husband and with a brood of children in tow, you are an outsider. Extended family and…
Read More
This is a continuation of Part I in which I share my personal story and my experiences with infertility and offer advice to all who encounter married women without children. Infertility and Faith: Putting Things in Perspective Over the years, I saw how the intensity of my supplication (dua)…
Read More
As I sit down to write my thoughts and reflections, I pause to think, where should this story begin and how should it be told. It is an accumulation of nine years of emotions and confusion, experiences and reflection, and acceptance with perspective. It’s a simple story of this chapter…
Read More
<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>Our culture is one of procreation; children are regarded as blessings from God, and we are told our progeny will spread Islam. Delaying marriage, waiting to begin a family, or experiencing infertility each amount to disregarding this sacred duty.
Read MoreI never imagined that I would one day be discussing a childfree life, let alone my childfree life. I had never been taught to think of this as an option. We’re a family-centered lot, you see. So family-centered that any display of individual separateness is rarely encouraged. You belong to us and we belong to you. And in continuing this cycle of our us-ness, we must have children of our own, for our own.
Read MoreOur culture is one of procreation; children are regarded as blessings from God, and we are told our progeny will spread Islam. Delaying marriage, waiting to begin a family, or experiencing infertility each amount to disregarding this sacred duty. While it is considered taboo in many cultures to remain childless- and the Muslim culture is no exception- what viable options exist for couples who are unable to conceive naturally, or choose not to adopt? What space does our culture provide for women who are either unable or unwilling to marry, choose to remain married without children or suffer from infertility?
Read More