The question that makes even the most open-minded Imams squirm was revived – Can a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim man? The answer in all the major schools of thought has traditionally been a resounding NO. Absolutely, not. Not ever. Haraam, sister.
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“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect” (30:21, Y. Ali). “I’m not against capture and convert,” a male Muslim friend of mine frequently provides this jocular rejoinder in discussions about finding solutions to the rising number of successful, accomplished, unmarried Muslim American women in their 30s.
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<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
Part of me wants to apologize for the relative melodrama of this title. I concede, of course, that my own experiences pale in comparison to the racially-based oppression John Howard Griffin recorded in his famous account of segregation in the American South.
Although it took many months of persistent coaxing on our and the community elders’ parts, my wife and I prevailed; even after we tied the knot though, I continued to feel burdened by the suspicion that we were only one among hundreds, if not thousands, of American Muslim couples who fought against families and communities opposed to their interracial marriage. Within the Muslim community, I realized the power of the unthinkable: When it came to marriage, some Muslims couldn’t even entertain the thought of marrying individuals from particular “groups.” The idea of a black Muslim man marrying an Arab Muslim girl was inconceivable. Joining an Indonesian and a Pakistani in holy matrimony…forget about it.
Read MoreThe debate is on! Two articles are up on Altmuslimah, each taking one of two sides on this controversial contemporary issue – should Muslim-Americans support same-sex marriage or not?
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Seven years ago, I married a wonderful woman. My wife-to-be was an Arab-American Muslim and I was a Cuban-American Muslim. Both she and I considered our ethnic identities incidental; after all, although my Cuban family raised me and she was brought up by her Algerian parents, we both shared the “American” after the hyphen, which made us quite compatible. For starters, English was our stronger language. We also had a similar taste in books and films, shared congruous views on the philosophy and practice of our faith, and both knew who “The Simpsons” were. We were a perfect fit, or so we thought.
Read MoreFirst things first: this is not an attempt to reconcile the Qur’an, Prophetic tradition, or classical Islamic thought with the cause of LGBTQ rights. Others more qualified than myself are doing that work. In fact, my argument depends somewhat on such a project being impossible. Let’s take for granted that Islam has no room for the accommodation of homosexuality – ignoring not only the efforts of reformist scholars, but also the numerous queer Muslims who are at peace with their bodies, hearts, and Creator. For a moment, let’s pretend that these intersections do not exist.
Read MoreOn 4th August 2010, Proposition 8, a ballot initiative whereby the California Constitution would only recognize marriage between a man and a woman, was overturned. It was a triumph for those who…well, support same-sex marriage – i.e., those on the political left. I agree with many other leftist issues, such as environmentalism. But as a Muslim, I cannot support same-sex marriage.
Read MoreI was preparing to graduate from law school and move on to the next stage in my professional life. As I searched for employment, it seemed equally important that I search for a spouse. My friends and family had made several attempts at introducing me to potentials they deemed compatible but to no avail. There were only so many single men within my community, and I thought I had exhausted the local options. Short of taking a road trip across the country to scout out potentials at Friday prayers in new and remote areas, I needed a way to meet people.
Read MoreThe existent double standards that occur when polygyny is practiced, particularly when it is kept secret from the other wife or wives, make it acceptable and praiseworthy for a Muslim man to marry (or marry more than one wife) to guard his chastity, while when a Muslim sister marries for that reason only, she is considered lewd and desperate.
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