We are told that the word “beat” in this verse (4:34) is a transitive verb. That means it can only take a direct object. As this verb is transitive it can only mean “beat.” When it is in its intransitive form, it means “go away from them,” making “them” an…
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“A wife bonus, I was told, might be hammered out in a pre-nup or post-nup, and distributed on the basis of not only how well her husband’s fund had done but her own performance — how well she managed the home budget, whether the kids got into a “good” school…
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It took a while, but after protracted discussions, my late mother finally had come around to the idea. “Habiba, you don’t need to get married” she’d said. I had finally convinced her that the opportunity cost of marriage was too great to sustain. I read Fatima Adamou’s piece with great…
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Many of my single women friends are over 30, and some are now over 35. Together we either laugh till we cry, or cry till we laugh when we talk about the challenges of meeting and marrying Muslim men. The situations we find ourselves in today are both funny and…
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from the altM archives
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“It was not enough to be born in Karachi to be from Karachi. It was not enough to live in Karachi to be from Karachi. It was also not enough to be born in Karachi and to live in Karachi to be from Karachi.” As Rafia Zakaria explains in “The…
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I am thirty-seven, single and childless. The latter two of these three descriptives are taboo within the Muslim community. Whether you live in America, Pakistan or Egypt, if you are not attached to a husband and with a brood of children in tow, you are an outsider. Extended family and…
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Dear Salma, I am a 25 year old Muslimah who wants to get married, but my parents refuse to help me find someone I can marry and say I am too young to get married! In the past, I have had various non-Muslim men interested in me but I have…
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Dear Salma, I was born in Pakistan, but grew up in the US. My parents however still live in Africa, and I am staying with my aunt. Some time back, a close friend of mine who happens to be a revert to Islam, had asked for my hand in marriage….
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I’m not able to be a “good Muslim wife”. In fact, I’m not able to be in a conventional marriage at all. I’m asexual, aromantic, and sex-averse. Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by experiencing little or no sexual attraction to any person1. Aromanticism means that I do not experience…
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