“Zainab is Different”
Altmuslimah speaks with author Irfana Khan about her upcoming children’s book, “Zainab is Different.”
Read Moreparenting
My father’s traditions
As a parent of two, and a full time lawyer and editor of this site, life is often a blur for me. Further weighing down on me are memories of my father–the epitome of busy-ness, who accomplished more in a day than many do in a lifetime. He left a legacy of tremendous accomplishment, with “accomplishment” defined not just in self-serving terms, but also – primarily – in giving back to the community, and living a life of gratitude and submission to God. And, somewhere in all of that, to also be a dad.
Read MoreAccidentally childfree
I never imagined that I would one day be discussing a childfree life, let alone my childfree life. I had never been taught to think of this as an option. We’re a family-centered lot, you see. So family-centered that any display of individual separateness is rarely encouraged. You belong to us and we belong to you. And in continuing this cycle of our us-ness, we must have children of our own, for our own.
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A love letter to the men in my life
I have been blessed. The women in my life have been strong, nurturing and supportive. Not only will they never tell where the bodies are buried, but they will bring the GPS and the shovels in case I ever need to move those bodies. But this past Father’s Day, I began to think about how the men in my life have shaped the person I have become.
Read MoreHomeboys: Deciding to be a stay-at-home-dad
This past Father’s Day I had a new appreciation for what it means to be a dad. Last July, I was blessed with a child who changed my perspective on life. There is something spiritual about seeing a baby who looks like you, has your smile, shares your mannerisms and calls you ‘Baba.’ Eleven months later, the miracle only gets clearer and more divine.
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Trust and the autistic child
I put Lil D on the bus this morning, like I do most school-day mornings. We walk out to the bus, often in semi-darkness before the day has broken, and I escort him to the steps of the bus. The bus matron takes over from there, guiding him to his seat and attaching his harness to the seat. Sometimes he is agitated, upset and crying. Other times he is calm and eager to go. As I silently pray Aytul Kursi (a verse from the Qur’an), I wave goodbye, tell him I love him, and wish him a good day at school. He jerkily waves back. And then he’s gone.
Read MoreNo less a child, no less a woman
Our culture is one of procreation; children are regarded as blessings from God, and we are told our progeny will spread Islam. Delaying marriage, waiting to begin a family, or experiencing infertility each amount to disregarding this sacred duty. While it is considered taboo in many cultures to remain childless- and the Muslim culture is no exception- what viable options exist for couples who are unable to conceive naturally, or choose not to adopt? What space does our culture provide for women who are either unable or unwilling to marry, choose to remain married without children or suffer from infertility?
Read MoreHarmful parenting: The roots of domestic abuse
Even small acts of mistreatment register in children’s impressionable, still-developing brains. While psychologists reassure us that children are adaptable and that parenting need only be “good-enough,” a pattern of mistreatment of a child can lead to an adult who believes it is acceptable to harm children “for their own good.” It can also lead to an adult who uses the Qur’an to justify abusing a spouse, or accepting abuse.
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