This piece is a follow up to the essay, “Accidentally Childfree”.
“Do you want to be in your marriage?” She asked me, matter-of-factly.
For months I wrestled with this question, always too afraid to broach it during daylight hours. But here we were, in her bright little office, and her words flooded the room.
On that day, I did not have an answer for her.
I never imagined that I would one day be discussing a childfree life, let alone my childfree life. I had never been taught to think of this as an option. We’re a family-centered lot, you see. So family-centered that any display of individual separateness is rarely encouraged. You belong to us and we belong to you. And in continuing this cycle of our us-ness, we must have children of our own, for our own.
Read MoreOur culture is one of procreation; children are regarded as blessings from God, and we are told our progeny will spread Islam. Delaying marriage, waiting to begin a family, or experiencing infertility each amount to disregarding this sacred duty. While it is considered taboo in many cultures to remain childless- and the Muslim culture is no exception- what viable options exist for couples who are unable to conceive naturally, or choose not to adopt? What space does our culture provide for women who are either unable or unwilling to marry, choose to remain married without children or suffer from infertility?
Read MoreThe holy month of Ramadan commenced this week, and a British imam tells BBC News that pregnant women are exempt from fasting during this month if it poses health risks to the mother or her baby. Health professionals observe that many pregnant women still continue to fast, even with knowledge of this provision, as they find it harder to make up for the missed fasts when the month is over because no one else in their families is fasting along with them. A study found that pregnant women who fast are likely to have smaller babies who are more prone to learning disabilities in adulthood.
Read MoreThis week in the news, why pregnant women exempt from fasting still fast, Taliban responds to TIME’s cover story on Aisha, Satirist claims he is not joking about his plans to open an Islamic gay bar next to Cordoba Mosque, and a young American Muslim man abstains from alcohol and dating for the month of Ramadan.
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